New revelations about myself to me… have just come back from Singapore teaching a Organizational Behavior course to Executive MBA participants. Apart from sharing knowledge and facilitating case studies, what I’ve realized over years is how I come across as high energy person to others. In fact when they share feedback on the last day, somehow I get more touched when they are able to connect with my authenticity and inner self, rather than just knowledge of Management constructs and theories.

It happened last month as well. I met one of my ex student Mayura after almost 10 years and she was a student of Emotional Intelligence course being taught by me for the first time. So there was lot of experimentation and excitement. What Mayura remembered and shared with another colleague of hers with whom I had an official meet was that with Mala I don’t need to wear a mask. She always gave us a comfort feeling of ‘its ok’, there was so much unconditional acceptance and all our growing up immature behavior was taken into stride. What touched me most was Mayura’s statement that I have learnt over years to be my natural self and also help others around me to have this psychological safety.

This morning as I was reflecting on the above two incidences, I realized how I’ve struggled to become the change I want in the world. I always wanted unconditional acceptance of who I am and what I’m unfolding to be. Instead what we constantly get from relationships around us is labels, judgments and disapprovals. We waste so much energy in getting validated by others and in the process lose the real purpose of our life- unfold to become what we are capable of becoming. We must learn to respect each individual life on this planet as their own journey of dramas and lessons to be learnt as we move on. Seeing Mayura as a confident young woman who is coordinating a Mass Media course and practicing what we learnt together in the EI course is such great satisfaction.

Mayura is not the only one. I’ve been part of some journeys of my students who are now blossoming the wisdom of life. Suchitra runs her own Counseling Center. Her poise and maturity are amazing. I never had it when I was her age. And the clarity of wanting to pen her own script and the struggle to keep family happy is difficult balance. But what I find is that this younger generation is tight rope walking wanting to find their own voice and not to cut the roots so it bleeds. As Victor Frankle says, “The last of human freedom is the ability to choose attitude.” When I look back on my life, I’d given up this freedom, or exercised it at great cost. I feel happy when I see the younger Gen X & Y not giving up this freedom. They are being labeled and judged wrongly by parents, family, sometimes even peers. And yet they persist. To me they embody the nectar of my own struggle.

I’ve shifted since I penned this two weeks ago. Shifted physically and emotionally. On one level the shift is to the old place of residence, and it is amazing how me and the place both have moved on. The coconut trees, gulmohur, neem, they all have become taller and fuller. The summer is reflected in gulmohur with its red flowers brightening my mornings. And many more birds are appearing than before. Their morning starts by 4 am, called Brahm Muhurta. When we read all New Age literature, we realize how these times that were called auspicious by grandmothers have a scientific reality. They are High Energy Time zones. And the Truth of Life reveals itself when we connect with this energy.

I was trying to save something on my pen drive, and the message kept repeating- disk drive full. I smile, and see how similar it is with our life and relationships. My coming back home has lots of control, alt delete so that I start my life again. I’m also seeing how difficult it is to let go, delete old files.